MATTHEW 5:14-16

14: Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid.

15: Neither do men light a candle and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick, and it giveth light onto all that are in the house.

16: Let you light shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father, which is in heaven.

What a weekend I recently had! Saturday morning I attended a writing workshop in Lawrenceville, Georgia; dinner Saturday night with my children and grandchildren. Sunday morning I was in church with my son and his family, and Sunday afternoon I shared ice cream and conversation with my daughter and son-in-law. Late Sunday afternoon I arrived home to my loving spouse, two dogs and cat.

After hugs and kisses were exchanged, and I emptied my suitcase, I took a moment to sit down, relax and reflect. I thought about my weekend, how different it was from my usual stay-at-home, recharge-my-batteries weekend. I reflected on how much fun it was going to a new place, seeing acquaintances and meeting new people at the writing workshop, then laughing and sharing with my family, attending a different church service, and finally home. I think I did more that weekend than I had all month.

The minister had spoken that morning about the Light of God shining through everyone who remained in His house; everyone has a story to tell, sharing with the community our knowledge and faith; that we are worthy – and very much loved. God desires everyone to stay close to Him, to spread his love and good works.

However, I didn’t feel very blessed, worthy, or much loved, at that point. I have been working on a novel for several years, and getting nowhere. Everything I wrote had to be re-written, and not just once or twice. I had been working on the last chapter, and it was AWFUL! (still is!) My BETA readers wouldn’t get back in touch with me. Doubts and frustration abound. I began to wonder, “Who did I think I was?”  Why am I even trying?

However, the minister’s words kept running through my mind – giveth light onto all that are in the house. Dark corners were suddenly lit, and my thoughts and beliefs of don’t even think about writing and no one will ever read or care were suddenly thrown to the side.  I understood that my writing was a gift from God, that my writing was confirmed.  I may not be the best, and most people will never read my words.

This is who I am, and this is what I was meant to do.

And so I picked up my last chapter and looked at it hopelessly. Once again, those negative voices tried to break through. I take a huge breath, let it out slowly, and understand this is just part of the process. I continue putting my words on paper and meeting with my writing critique groups.  It’s a very slow and drawn out process. I feel as if I am moving three steps forward and two steps back, but at least I’m heading in the right direction.  Besides, look how far I’ve already come!

With many blessings already bestowed before us, and many more coming, I’m anxious to see this through to see the end results.